Chapter 1: Lana
Clark is trying to resist the urge to turn Richard White into a
toasty crisp. Not that Richard isn't a nice guy because he is. It
is just at this precise moment he is kissing Lois and Clark can't
stop the pang of jealousy that is eating at his gut. Until a month
ago it was him that was kissing Lois, well more precisely it was
Superman. He hadn't worked up the nerve to tell Lois who is yet and
that was why a month ago she decided that they needed to have
a `break' whatever the hell that means. Lois had said he needed to
have a long, hard look at their relationship because if he couldn't
tell her who he truly was then what was the point of continuing.
The worse part is that she is right. Their relationship can't
progress if he isn't willing to be completely honest with her but for
some reason he can't bring himself to do it. As Clark Kent Lois just
never pays him that much attention and he fears that she will be very
disappointed when she finds out that Superman really is just a farm
boy from Kansas.
Clark rubs his eyes. It is late. It is also the Christmas party at
the Planet, hence why Richard is kissing Lois. He had gotten her
under the mistletoe. In fact Clark thinks Richard has a thing for
Lois which doesn't help suppress those toasty crisp urges.
Dammit! Why can't he just tell Lois who he is? What is he so afraid
of?
`Rejection.'
That single word pops into his head. That is what he is afraid of.
He is afraid Lois will reject him. It is almost laughable. A
superstrong, invulnerable alien is afraid of the very human emotion
of rejection but as he thinks of it more it isn't as funny. He is
the sole survivor of his species. He is always alone. Even amongst
6 billion humans he is alone and if Lois rejects him it is just
confirmation of how alone he truly is.
Well at least tomorrow is Christmas day and that will ease his
loneliness for a while Clark thinks as he flies to his parent's farm
in Smallville after he leaves the party. He lands in front of the
house and walks in and sees his parents are still up. "Ma! Pa!" he
shouts.
Martha and Jonathan appear from the lounge. "Clark!" Martha
proclaims happily as she moves forward to give him a hug and is soon
followed by her husband who also gives Clark a hug.
"So looking forward to Christmas son?" Jonathan asks.
"Of course Pa. You know me."
Yes Jonathan does indeed know his son. Christmas day comes along and
Clark acts like he is 10 again.
"Well now you're here I'll make you something to eat," Martha offers.
"Ma. It is far too late. Truthfully I didn't think you would be
still up."
"Oh your mother never passes up a chance to see her son since he so
rarely visits," Jonathan informs Clark.
Oh great now Clark has guilt on top of everything else. "I'm fine
Ma. I don't need anything. I was just going to head off to bed."
Martha looks Clark over. "Alright but I expect you to eat lots
tomorrow because you look like you haven't been eating enough."
Clark's mother always says that to him every time he visits. "Well
I'll go off to bed. Goodnight Ma. Pa."
"Night son and oh be on your best behaviour because we're having a
guest tomorrow," Jonathan tells his son.
"Yes I know Santa," Clark says thinking that is who his dad means.
"No not Santa. Lana," his mother corrects.
Clark stands stock still. "Lana Lang?"
"How many other Lanas do you know?" Martha asks him.
God Lana. Clark hadn't seen Lana in ages. Why is she coming here?
He asks his mother that very question.
"Because Clark she has no other family left since her aunt died and
Pete and her aren't really talking since their divorce. After all
it'll be nice to see her again won't it Clark?"
"Um…yeah…sure Ma," Clark says not completely certain about that.
Lana and he had lingering issues over their once relationship.
Tomorrow is going to be awkward. No doubt about it.
Clark could hear her car coming the second she left her home. He in
fact followed it's trip all the way till it stopped outside. He
hears the footsteps as she and her son approach the door and then it
is getting knocked on. Clark is the one to answer it. As soon as he
opens the door a strange voice goes off in his head.
"Bachelorette number 1."
Um. Ok. That was weird. Reminds him of that dream he had but he is
forgetting to let Lana in. "Lana. Hi," he greets her as he looks
her over. Wow she looks really pretty even dressed up in a thick
coat due to the cold.
Lana smiles broadly at seeing who has answered the door. "Oh hi
Clark," she greets him back warmly. "You remember your name sake,"
she says referring to her son who is holding her hand.
"Of course. Hello Clark," Clark says to the 5 year old boy.
"Go on honey don't be shy," Lana says to her son encouraging him to
speak.
"Hello Mr Kent," he says in a shy, quiet voice.
Lana then moves forward and kisses Clark on the cheek and he does the
same to her. Lana takes a second to savour the feeling of Clark's
warm lips on her cold cheek that makes her heart skip a beat before
she and her son enter the house.
Clark takes her coat in an act of his usual consideration and
politeness and takes a minute to appreciate her in a woolly sweater.
She really is pretty with her long red hair and emerald green eyes
and he can feel the same longing he had for her when he was growing
up swell inside him. He wonders if it is due to his pseudo break up
with Lois that this feeling is there. After all she did tell him he
had to sort out his feelings. Maybe that includes those he might
still carry for Lana.
Clark has to admit he finds himself enjoying the day with Lana and
her son. He has to be honest and say he hasn't spent enough time
with her these last few years to see her in `mom' mode. She makes it
almost look like it is natural for her. Maybe it is. Of all the
people Clark knows Lana was always the one he could see becoming a
mother.
By early evening Lana's son is conked out on the couch having wore
himself out and Clark is in the barn taking a moment to himself.
"You still hang out here then?" Lana asks as she walks in. Clark had
spent many an hour of his youth hanging about the barn.
Clark turns to look at her. "Lana. You shouldn't be out here. It
is far too cold for you."
Lana looks at Clark wearing nothing but a thin shirt and
jeans. "Well not all of us have the benefit of being solar powered
Clark but we survive the cold regardless." Her voice is a little bit
teasing.
Clark smiles in acceptance of her point. "So what brings you out
here?"
"I was just wondering if you're alright. You've been quite quiet
today."
"I'm always quiet Lana. You know I'm a shy and mild-mannered guy."
"Clark don't do that. We're friends. Don't shut me out. I can tell
something is up."
Clark sighs and reluctant admits what is bothering him. "Lois and I
broke up."
"Oh." There is a small undertone of hope in Lana's voice. Seeing
Clark again, spending time with him has reawakened some long buried
feelings as it pertains to him.
"Well sort of," Clark tries to amend.
"Sort of?" Lana asks rather puzzled.
"She said we needed to take a break, whatever that means. She said I
needed time to think about what I wanted from our relationship."
"And what conclusion have you reached?" Lana inquires.
"None as of yet."
"Does she know?"
"That Superman and Clark Kent are one and the same?" Lana nods.
"No. That is the crux of the problem. I'm afraid she'll be
disappointed to find out who I really am."
Lana snorts in such a way to really catch Clark's attention. That is
so un-Lana like. "What?" he asks her.
"Why would she be disappointed? You're one of the best people I have
ever known. Your kind and generous and selfless."
Lana saying that warms Clark's heart. "Thank you Lana. That is nice
to hear."
"It's the truth Clark," she says earnestly before she shivers.
Clark seeing she is cold moves over to her and wraps his arms around
her. "I told you it was cold," he says gently and not in any way
critical of her. He is just concerned for her health.
"A little cold never hurt anyone Clark," Lana responds while
snuggling into Clark's warmth. She closes her eyes and listens to
the slow, steady beat of his heart. She is feeling a lot warmer and
it is not solely due to Clark`s body heat. God she has forgotten
what it feels like to be this close to him. How wonderful it is.
Holding Lana is stirring something deep inside Clark. He can feel
the sensual curves of her body next to his own and he suddenly feels
a lot warmer than he usually does. He wonders what his life would
have been like if he had given him and Lana more of a chance rather
than just heading off to a college far away.
He pulls back a bit and looks down at her to find her looking up at
him with those green eyes of hers. She is biting her lower lip in a
gesture of nervousness and at this moment something inside Clark
snaps and the next thing he knows he is lowering his head to hers and
capturing her lips.
Lana is so overwhelmed at Clark's forwardness, which is not like him
at all, she can't stop herself from moaning as Clark probes at her
mouth with his tongue. She parts her lips and when their tongues
meet an even louder moan escapes from her. After a while she gently
pushes back against his chest in her need to breathe. Clark pulls
back and she can see his cheeks are flushed even if he isn't as
breathless as she is.
Clark takes a moment to take in Lana, panting for breath. He tucks a
strand of hair behind her ear. "Lana," he says in a husky voice.
Lana shivers, not due to the cold, but die to Clark`s tone of
voice. "Clark," she says back.
"What does this mean?" he asks her.
"What do you want it to mean?"
Clark takes a moment to think before answering. "I think it means I
still have feelings for you."
"And I still have feelings for you Clark. I don't think they ever
went away."
"So, um, I was thinking, maybe I could take you out sometime, you
know, on a date."
"Don't you have to get back to Metropolis?"
"Distance is irrelevant to me Lana. You should know that."
Lana smiles feeling a little silly. "Yeah I should know that. Ok a
date it is."
With that they head back into the house with Clark's arm across
Lana's shoulders and her arm around his waist.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Morning CK!"
Clark looks up from his desk and smiles at his friend. "Morning
Jimmy. How are you this morning?"
"I'm fine CK. So how did it go?"
"How did what go?" Clark asks him.
"You know." Jimmy lowers his voice "Your D.A.T.E."
"Jimmy why are you whispering. It isn't a secret you know. Lana and
I have been dating for a month."
"Uh huh. Sure CK. That is why you still haven't told Lois."
"It's never come up," Clark explains.
"Riiight," Jimmy says slowly not buying that for a single second.
"So how is it going?"
"Um it's nice," Clark answers.
"Nice?" Jimmy asks. He's heard a lot of descriptions of
relationships but none that sounded so boring and Clark hadn't been
exactly gushing praise for this last month either.
Ok that isn't the best word Clark could have come up with. He feels
the need to confess. "Jimmy can you keep a secret?"
"Sure CK."
"It's about me and Lana. The truth is I'm finding dating her kind of
boring."
"Boring?" Jimmy asks wanting some clarification.
"Don't get me wrong Lana's very nice."
There's that `nice' word again Jimmy mentally notes.
"But it turns out we don't have as much in common as we once did. We
just don't have that much to say to each other. I think I've changed
too much since we were at school."
"You mind explaining that CK?"
"It is when I was growing up dating someone like Lana was what I
thought I wanted. Someone calm and understanding who wouldn't mind
staying at home and yes I know that sounds sexist before you say it."
"You wanted someone like your mother," Jimmy observes having met
Clark's mother.
Clark blinks. Jimmy is right. He did want someone like his mother
but yet Lana lacks something that his mother has. Calm and
understanding are just not enough without some drive. That is what
Lana lacks. She lacks drive. Lana likes having her life in some set
pattern. That is why he finds it boring. Now Lois he never finds
boring because unlike Lana he can't place her in a particular box.
Every time he thinks he has Lois nailed down she does something
totally unexpected.
"CK?" Jimmy asks at the prolonged silence.
"I was just thinking."
"About?"
"My relationship."
"Well CK I'm no expert but if you are finding it boring after only a
month maybe Lana isn't the one for you."
Jimmy has a point. "I guess you're right Jimmy. I suppose I should
end it before it gets too serious. I don't want to hurt Lana's
feelings."
"CK. Trust me there is no way to end it without hurting her
feelings. That is just a fact of life."
Clark looks at Jimmy wondering where he got these words of wisdom
from before he reluctantly has to accept that he maybe right but it
has only been a month. How into him can Lana be?
----------------------------------------------------------
Lana prepares for another date with Clark. Tonight she'll tell him
that she loves him and then he'll say it back to her and they can
have the relationship she always dreamed about when they were growing
up. She is currently in Metropolis having decided to spend a week
there. She had left her son with Clark's parents who had been more
than happy to look after him for a while.
Tonight Lana is going to cook him dinner which is why she is sneaking
off to his apartment early. She'll use the key he gave her and
surprise him when he comes home.
Clark is surprised alright. He was going to meet Lana to tell her
that they couldn't continue this and he comes home to find she has
cooked him a 3 course meal and now he has guilt. That shouldn't stop
him. He should just tell her the truth but the smells coming from
his kitchen are seriously making his mouth water so he decides he'll
tell her after dinner. After all it is a shame to let all that food
go to waste.
"So how was it Clark?" Lana asks him eager for his opinion.
"It was great Lana. I had no idea you could cook that well." He
really didn't actually. That was delicious. Almost as good as his
mother's cooking and it has made him forget all about…whatever it was
he was meant to tell her.
Lana smiles widely at his compliment. This night has gone perfectly
so far. "I'll get dessert," she informs him as she leaves the
table.
Clark watches her leave. God she looks so sexy in that dress she is
wearing. It is green to match her eyes and he can't stop his eyes
going to her hips as she walks off. Her high heels are adding a
little sway to her walk and he stares mesmerised having now
completely forgotten about breaking up with her. In fact other
naughtier thoughts are now entering his head.
Lana comes back with a couple of bowls not missing the fact Clark is
staring at her lustily. Yes! This dress was worth every penny she
thinks to herself. Ok Lana thinks to herself. This is the moment to
tell him how she feels. She places the bowls down. "I just want to
say Clark." She takes a breath and tries again. "Clark…"
"You don't need to say it Lana," Clark says cutting her off think
she was about to say how great this last month has been not the L
thing.
"I don't?"
Clark shakes his head. Lana suddenly grabs Clark's head and kisses
him. Whoa Clark thinks. Lana can really kiss when she puts her mind
to it just as his mind is leaving the building.
----------------------------------------------------------
The next morning Clark wakes up in bed to find red hair pillowed over
his chest. Oh God he didn't. He didn't sleep with Lana. Please God
say he didn't do that. He nervously shifts some hair to the side and
there lying peacefully oblivious is Lana. Oh crap. This is just
great. He goes from wanting to end it to sleeping with her. He is
officially a dumbass.
Lana stirs from her sleep and looks up at Clark with a smile. Last
night had been wonderful. "Morning," she says softly.
"Morning," Clark says back trying not to let it show that he is
freaking out.
"I'm going to have a shower. How about you make breakfast?" Lana
suggests.
"Sure. That sounds swell," he says with false cheer.
Lana gets up and Clark doesn't know whether to avert his eyes from
her naked body or not since he had seen it all last night and he
means it all. He lies there for a short while trying to get his head
around what he allowed to happen last night. Well he comes to one
simple answer. He is a dumbass.
He decides he better get out of bed and grabs a t-shirt and shorts to
put on for now. He might as well make breakfast while he tries to
work out how the hell he gets himself out of this one. God Lana
probably thinks he wants more out of this relationship and not end it
like he wants.
Alright for the 3rd time this morning he is definitely a dumbass.
How can this get any worse?
The doorbell rings. He just had to think it. He x-rays the door and
his eyes wide in panic. Lois and Jimmy! Maybe he can pretend he
isn't in.
"Smallville! I know you're there! Open this door!" Lois shouts
through the door.
Gee when did she get x-ray vision he wonders. Clark grabs his
glasses and puts them on as he opens the door. "Morning Lois. What
brings you here?"
Lois barges in. "I got a tip from a source and I need your…" she
trails off when she notices how Clark is dressed in a white t-shirt
that does little to hide an obviously muscular physique. Whoa. She
had no idea Clark was this well built. His arms alone are drool
worthy. She then mentally slaps herself for that thought. This is
Smallville, farm boy, resident geek and she is in love with Superman
and if he ever mans up and is honest with her they'll be getting back
together soon but still there was nothing wrong in just looking was
there.
"Clark who is it?" Lana asks as she walks in in one of Clark's shirts
while still drying her hair with a towel. "Oh hi Lois," she greets
the other woman cheerfully.
Lois is in shock. In fact she might be having a heart attack because
there was no doubt about what Clark had been up to last night. She
didn't even know he was dating. In fact what the hell is he doing
dating Lana Lang of all people. She is no way good enough for him
and whoa where did that thought come from. What does she care who
Clark dates. She comes back to the present. "Hi Lana," she says
curtly.
Lana kisses Clark on the cheek in an unmistakable statement of `Hands
off. He's mine'. "I'll go and get changed," she tells Clark before
she heads to the bedroom.
Lois meanwhile is trying to erase stray thoughts about Clark and Lana
in bed…uck. What a horrible image. Well at least the Lana bit. Now
if it was her in bed with a man with muscles like Clark…oh god. She
needs to stop that train of thought.
Jimmy, who has been silent all the way through, wanders up next to
Clark. "CK. What happened to you breaking it off with her?" he asks
in a whisper. Unfortunately Lois overhears it.
"Wait a minute. You were planning to break up with her?" she asks
Clark.
"Lois. Lower your voice please," Clark pleads in a panic that Lana
might hear her.
Lois, Jimmy and Clark huddle together. Lois lowers her
voice. "Alright Smallville. Spill it."
"I was planning to break up with her last night after work but when I
got home she had let herself in and cooked me dinner and then before
I know it I'm sitting there eating it and then there is some talking
and then…"
"You ended up doing the horizontal fandango," Lois supplies.
Clark blushes with embarrassment. "Um…yeah…that. I didn't plan on
this."
"Sheesh Clark. Relax. You speak like you're the first person who
has woken up next to someone in the morning and went gah and
discovered they had made a horrible mistake."
"Well maybe but what do I do now?" he asks, barely believing he is
asking Lois of all people for relationship advice. How the mighty
have fallen!?
"Well do you still want to break up with her?" Lois asks.
"Um yeah. We don't have that much in common."
"Then tell her."
Clark looks at Lois dubious. After all he'll hurt Lana's feelings if
he does that.
"Oh come on Smallville. Grow a pair will ya. Man up and just tell
her to pack her bags and go back to Hicksville."
"That's Smallville," Clark corrects her.
"Whatever."
Lana walks back in to discover Clark in a huddle with Lois and
Jimmy. Now what is going on? "Clark?"
The other 3 look up at Lana. "Hey Lana," Clark says nervously.
"Is everything alright?"
Ok he can do this. He has to do this. He opens his mouth but no
sound comes out. Lois looks at him exasperated. Well if he won't do
it. She will. After all she is his friend and it is nothing to do
with the fact she has suddenly discovered that Clark Kent has a drool
worthy body. Nope. Nothing to do with that at all. "Ok Lana. Long
story short. Clark thinks last night was a terrible mistake and he
doesn't see any future in your relationship."
Lana glares daggers at Lois. She doesn't believe that. It is just
petty jealously on Lois' part. "That's not true is it Clark. Tell
her you love me."
Clark screws his eyes shut. Alright it is time to `man up' as Lois
put it. He looks at Lana with new resolve "Lana I'm sorry but Lois
is speaking the truth. Last night was a mistake."
"How can you say that," she says angrily.
"Because I don't lie Lana. You and I…it just won't work. We're too
different now."
For the first time since her divorce Lana feels real anger. She
marches up to Clark draws her hand back and slaps him across the
face. Clark makes sure to move his head, lest Lana break her hand on
his invulnerable skin. The slap didn't hurt him physically of
course. He could sense the pressure of her hand striking his skin
but there was no physical pain. No it is all emotional as he sees
the hurt and anger in Lana's eyes. Not saying another word she grabs
her coat and storms out of his apartment.
"I think she took that pretty well," Lois comments dryly.
Clark says nothing but heads to his bedroom. "I'll get changed and
meet you out front," he says sadly.
"Sure," Lois replies using her better judgement for once that Clark
needs a moment alone. She knows this is the kind of thing he feels
terrible for.
She and Jimmy head to the door. "Clark," Lois says stopping him
before he vanishes into his bedroom.
"Yes Lois," Clark says stopping at the threshold to his bedroom.
"It'll be alright. She is just angry. Giver her a few days to calm
down before you try to talk to her. Ok?" she advises in a caring
tone of voice.
Clark nods. "Sure Lois. I'll just be a few minutes."
"Ok. Come on Olsen," Lois orders Jimmy as they leave the apartment.
Clark gets one of shirts to put on. God what a mess he has made of
this but at least he has put an end to a relationship he knows
couldn't work. Yes it was nice dating someone who knew that he was
Superman. He isn't sure how Lana would have dealt with his dual
identity long term. They weren't together long enough to find out.
They didn't need to be together that long because Clark had already
made up his mind that Lana is not the one. He hopes that they can at
least remain friends but like Lois said he is better leaving Lana
alone for at least a few days.
As Clark continues to dress he can't help but think Lois was
surprisingly understanding there. He has almost never seen that side
of her. He likes it. It's a shame she doesn't show it more often.
Clark reaches for his jacket and puts it on. Well he better get
going and see what exactly it was that brought Lois to his door this
morning.
With a quick final check around his apartment Clark opens the door.
`Moving on to Bachelorette number 3."
Clark looks around. Not that voice again. He is seriously losing it
because Lois' casserole still can't be affecting him after 2 months.
Can it? Well saying that this is Lois' cooking he is talking about
and she is probably the worse cook he has ever met. Even Diana isn't
that bad. She can, at least, make a salad.
With a deep breath at this odd tangent of thought Clark heads out the
door to see what new weirdness awaits him.
