Friends
Written by Amazonia V
Chapter 5:
Sunday, 21 February 2010
Special Feature: Beauty-sexuals
By Clark Kent, Special Features, The Daily Planet
Photographs by Jimmy Olsen, Photographer, The Daily Planet
It was only the other day that we read a scientific journal stating that nearly 30 per cent of Metropolitan men have admitted to using make-up once in a while. Earlier, we were of the firm opinion that only a few men would want to varnish their nails or use an eyeliner. Out of curiosity, The Daily Planet decided to our own little survey and the results are interesting. Look at what all the men had to say when we asked, “Do you use women's beauty products?”
Men say
"I have a guilty confession – I stole my girlfriend's LL Gels concealer from her bag before she left for work a few months back. I had a really important presentation and had bad dark circles due to a wild night out with the guys. So I was desperate to do something about them. I remembered my girlfriend blabbering about her dark circles once and buying concealer, so I snuck it out of her bag and I've been using it ever since, and it actually works. I hope she doesn't read this." YXW, Stockbroker, 31
"Well, we use women's beauty products simply because there aren't enough targeted at men! Personally, I don't see any difference between the products targeted at women and men. It's just the strategy beauty companies use to exploit naive customers like us. For instance, there are hardly any moisturizers in the so-called Men's line. So, I end up using Bodacious body lotions or even Neutron Warming Scrub as shaving cream! At the end of the day, everyone uses stuff that makes them feel good and if we men end up smelling nice in the bargain, why complain?" Sexy Male, Assistant Manager, 42
“My elder sister is a Bodacious addict and so am I, she never understands why her shower gels, facemasks and body butter get over so quickly. I can't resist them, sometimes I leave the house later than she does so I can have a shower with her shower gels and use those amazing smelling moisturizers. I use her stuff before going out on dates, and I've got a lot of compliments for smelling nice by the way. The only thing is, I'm too embarrassed to go to the shop and pick them up myself.” Supermale, 28, Student
“This is real embarrassing. But well, I will say it anyway. I have been sneakily using my mom's under eye cream and her hair serum. Both seem to work wonders and are much better than any of the stuff I have tried out in the men's range. In fact, the other day, I tried out her hand and foot lotion. Not only did it smell awesome and it made my dry hands and feet feel real soft! And guess, what? My girl noticed my new soft hands and insists on holding them all the time now. I'm sure I'll be trying out more of my mom’s stuff and not telling her. J” Adventure Man, 26, Space Scientist
The Daily Planet asked the Experts what they think:
Dr. Anushka Stanislaski and Dr. Curtis Twine, dermatologists and founder-directors of Cutesy Bods:
There is no harm if men use cosmetic products meant for women. Men’s skin is different from women’s and they might not get the optimum results because men’s products are more concentrated. There are also some products for men which are very harsh. You know when men shave, it also acts as exfoliation so it is important that men’s shaving products have soothing ingredients like chamomile and lavender. Rose essence has been proven to have extremely good results on men’s skin. A lot of men tell me that they love using their wives products. A lot of women tell me that men feel so much better after their men started using their beauty products.
****
“Hoo, ha, ha,” laughed Hal Jordan as he finished reading the latest feature by Clark Kent. Who knew that Superman would write a piece on men using women’s beauty products. It was definitely worth teasing Superman the next time he met him. While Hal personally had no objection to anyone using anything at all, he smiled broadly to think of such a macho type investigating women’s products. It was worth a few minutes and maybe a punch or two from Superman.
Hal wondered how Clark Kent had ended up doing the features bit for the Sunday edition of The Daily Planet. Usually Lois Lane did a Special Feature. A sudden memory wiped the smile from his face. He was to have been the Sunday Feature!
It was part of his contract – this publicity bit, and God knows, he needed it after being off the circuit for so long. And not only that, the interview had been set up by his new boss and owner. He was going to be in trouble. He supposed that he should have been grateful that someone was trying to give him a break. Hell only knew that he had very few fans left.
Stop it, Hal Jordan, he told himself. Your career hasn’t sunk that far yet.
Yeah, the latest headlines had made him look bad. But it’d all blown over. And now he’d found a new job—driving stock cars in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series—and so his name would soon be front-page news again. Money would start rolling in. Things would get back to normal.
He hoped.
His mobile phone rang, vibrating against his body, while playing the tune, “It’s the final countdown.”
“Jordan, Hal Jordan,” Hal picked up.
“Jordan, it’s Fanci. Fanci Webb.”
“What is it?” he asked. As if he didn’t know already. That stupid Lois Lane. Damn it. He didn’t have time for this.
“You should have completed your interview with Lois Lane. Publicity features are part of the deal. As of now, you are in direct violation of your contract.”
“I violate contracts all the time.”
“Well, not this time. If you do, Sports Management World Wide will have no choice but to fire you as a client.” Fanci loved saying the complete name of her company just like that. It sounded so good – Sports Management World Wide.
“Excuse me?”
Fanci groaned under her breath. Another sports star who did not know the full form of the acronym that her company was more familiarly known by.
“SMWW will not tolerate your flagrant disregard of the contract you signed with James Hanngian Enterprises or JHE. If you won’t listen to us, we’ll have to, um…We’ll have to let you go.”
“Really?” he asked, crossing his arms, though he knew that his agent could not see him.
“Yes, really,” she responded, although in a more uncertain tone.
Suddenly the conversation took a different turn. When she spoke again, the words were delivered with a voice that almost seemed full of concern. “Hal, can we talk candidly?”
“I thought we already were,” he replied equally softly. Curious about his new agent, having never met her, Hal did what he almost never did. He used his power ring to show him what Fanci Webb looked like even as she spoke to him.
Did she really have a law degree? he wondered, as his ring showed him her features. He’d have to admit, she looked like an attorney in her tailored pants and no-nonsense blouse. There were dimples in her cheeks, he noticed. Cute dimples. How could such hell on heels have dimples?
He focused on what she was saying.
“Yes, I suppose we are,” she said. “Look, I’ve read your file, and I have to be honest, I don’t think it’s in your best interest to do something that would cause SMWW to terminate your contract.”
“And why’s that?” he asked.
“Are you kidding?” she asked on a higher note, her brows stretching high. “Do you really have to ask after all the trouble you’ve been in recent months? Walking out on that open-wheel guy, Hank Mason—the man that owned the Indy 500 car you used to race. Aren’t you still in legal trouble with him? Then there’s the bad press. You didn’t exactly make a good impression at your first NASCAR Sprint Cup Series race last year, did you? And don’t forget that you are back on the circuit after a very long break, when no one knew where you disappeared to. You’re not king of the racing hill anymore and so I’m thinking you’ll have a heck of time finding another agent. I mean, the racing industry will only give you so many chances, right? Surely your time is drawing to an end.”
“You think so?” he said, trying hard not to lose control of his quickly rising temper. Bad things occurred when that happened.
Such as fistfights with Ollie. Or his car owner. Or his teammates.
Little cute babies. That’s what his anger management counselor had told him to think of whenever he felt his temper slipping out of control. The thing was, he did not feel very uncomfortable with kids when he was angry.
“I do,” Fanci said now, and as though she knew that he was peeking, gave a firm little nod of her head.
“Shows you how little you know about the racing industry. I can find a new agent like that,” he said, snapping his fingers over the microphone for emphasis. “And a new ride, too.”
“Oh, really?” she said. “Because I have to wonder, where are all those offers now? Your file isn’t exactly brimming with prime opportunities. We had to practically beg Bold Riders to sponsor you, and in the end they only agreed because your bad-boy reputation fits their corporate image perfectly. Trust me when I say our phone wasn’t exactly ringing off the hook when we were trying to find you a car to drive.”
“Things will turn around,” Hal said, holding on to his patience by the thinnest of threads.
“Oh, yeah? How? You may not be driving a race car for the next several months. Did you skip over the clause in your contract that says if you breach your agreement with JHE, then you can’t go drive elsewhere?”
“I don’t have time for this,” he said again, his cheek beginning to twitch.
“Let’s say you do happen to find another job. What will you do when JHE files a lawsuit against you? Because you know they will. Can you afford to fend off another legal dispute?”
“You don’t know anything about racing,” he said. “And I’m tired of standing here. Either say good bye or let me do that.”
“All right, fine,” Fanci said. “You’re right. I don’t know a whole lot about racing, but I do know the law. You’ll be in deep trouble if you ignore my advice. But I’m tired of dealing with men who think they rule the world. Go ahead. End this call. Enjoy the race this time. It’ll be the last time you drive something fast for a while.”
Click. She broke off the connection.
Have fun…it’ll be the last time you drive something fast for a while.
Yeah, right. James Hannigan would look the other way when he flagrantly ignored the publicity campaign. Team owners always did.
Can you afford another legal dispute?
So what if he couldn’t. He’d be making money hand over fist soon enough.
Not if SMWW doesn’t represent you, he thought. Damn. Perhaps he should have accepted Ollie or Bruce’s offer to be his owner. They would have understood him. No, he had to do this on his own. And now, he was stuck with this Fanci Webb to represent him as his agent.
*****
Lois Lane finished reading the special features and smiled smugly to herself. Trust Clark to be the one caught to interview men using beauty products. Clark was such a dork. There, she had managed to use the new word that she had picked up from Jimmy. Though to be fair, Jimmy had not used the word in context with Clark. Clark thought that Lois had not picked up on the signals that he was trying to date her. In reality, Lois was actually ignoring Clark and his farm-boy attempts at dating. Now Hal Jordan was the man to die for. The man who made her senses sing. And perhaps, another who could do that, though only time would tell, was the man she was going to interview tomorrow afternoon, the billionaire philanthropist, Bruce Wayne.
*****
Clark smiled as he put the paper down. He was going to have to take a lot of ribbing for doing this special feature. But it had been fun. And it appealed to his sense of humor. Maybe next time, he would do a special feature on the Ambassador from Themyscira, Wonder Woman, and he his work on women’s shelters. That would give them the publicity they needed, would highlight the work done and would give him a chance to spend the day with Diana.
******
Bruce Wayne, billionaire philanthropist, and feared guardian of Gotham, in his Batman persona, allowed the corners of his lips to quirk with amusement just a little bit. His news system constantly scoured cyberspace for articles and news snippets about meta-humans. This one had been highlighted because it had Clark Kent’s byline. The story was amusing. It was worth mentioning to Clark the next time he spoke to him. Just slip it into the conversation. He was momentarily distracted by his dairy, which now popped up onto the screen – he was to meet Lois Lane for an interview tomorrow. She was an interesting woman and Clark seemed to be fascinated by her. Would he object if Bruce made a play for her? Or was she already spoken for? Were Clark and Lois dating? An interesting combination if they were. Only one way to find out, he mused, and activated the tele-communicator for Clark Kent.